Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dreamed up another horror movie…

So, here’s the dream, it’s from a while ago. Theres something out there on the internet. There’s a series of patterns and puzzles leading deeper and deeper into, well, into something. Our main character, who I was alternately playing and watching, is a collage kid who follows the trail and eventually makes contact with what I originally believed to be a computer program. In the process, he abandons everything else in his life with his need to find the answer. Turns out he’s not the only one. The puzzle leads him to a location, along with about twenty other ‘seekers’, one of which is me. It turns out that they have not been communicating with some kind of evil computer program, but a serial killer. And now he has us all trapped in this abandoned warehouse. It’s very Saw-esque, at least as far as my understanding of Saw goes, I’ve never seen any of the movies. He had us playing this twisted game that I don’t remember very well, but the main character was at the center of it. The serial killer was standing over us at the head of the room, dressed like a circus ringmaster. He was tall, thin, and somewhat effeminate. A bishonen, in other words, though he was much older than the rest of us. Anyway, there was this continuum to stretched away from either side of him. I was on one side and quickly realized that that moving along the continuum away from the man would add ‘power’ the the abilities being used by the other players (because, you know, this is apparently some kind of JRPG), which would be needed as they faced more and more difficult challenges. However, the farther I moved the more pain was inflicted upon my whole body via some sort of of electrical field or something. So, I steeled myself for the pain and told my comrades not to worry, because I could take it. However, they were so wrapped up in the game that they completely ignored me. I was quite upset that i was facing SAW-style torture while they were playing a video game and no one was giving me any credit for it. Then I woke up. Which is good because if you die in the game, you die in real life.

Ah, sea monsters. Give man a big enough space that they don’t know about, and they’ll put all kinds of scary things in there. You might recognize this image as the creepypasta.com header for the ‘BEINGS’ section. Anyone else here a fan of The Rake?
Had a dream today. Apparently my now-deceased grandmother was part of some secret organization with connections to the demon world and I had to go on this journey to the demon world to meet my ‘master’. I was accompanied by a talking turtle. When we got there, he got rerouted to turtle paradise as a reward for helping me. When I got there I did eventually find my master, was going to get fucked and then receive enlightenment, but he disappeared as we were embracing. Big fucking surprise. Still quit frustrating though. 
Those who clicked the link in the last post might have notice that the artist lists a link to the song Vlad the Impaler by Kasabian. I am in love with this song and the music video. Go watch it, it’s delicious. 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Here we have Vlad the Impaler. You'll find I have a bit of an obsession with this man, and of course with Dracula. This particular piece was done by mentosik8 of deviantART. He's a favorite artist of mine. Check him out
Transylvanian Concubine - Rasputina

A friend recently introduced me to this song. Gotta say it’s growing on me. A bitch to sing but I love the lyrics. Vampires, blood, monsters with dominion over women. All good things. 
Just made a formspring for the hell of it.
Feel free to ask whatever’s on you mind.

Friday, August 27, 2010

So here we have the first of many images by the infamous Jason Chan. Tentacles aren’t really my thing, but I love the hold he’s got on her. If you like it, you can find more of his work at jasonchanart.com.


I am keeping this blog on both Tumblr and Blogger. Check out the Tumblr blog at:



So I think it’s time I explained a bit about dreams. I have a pretty severe sleeping disorder, which is mostly a burden but allows me to experience some pretty interesting dreams. A doctor once explained to em that they were really more akin to hallucinations that real dreams.
My dreams a photo-realistic, complex and often lucid.  You’ll find that some of the dreams I describe are difficult to believe as dreams, just think of it them as hallucinations and you’ll find yourself much more credulous.  
Themes common to my dreams include sex and sexual denial/frustration, being trapped, being unable to move/walk and being unable to see normally. Capture, dominance and rape occur frequently. I meet a lot of serial killers. I also get the plenty of the cliche dreams settings like being stuck in a vehicle I can’t drive or attending a class where it’s the final exam and I never studied. 
There are a lot of reccurring senarios and charcters . In one senario there’s a guy who kidnaps me and a large group of people and forces us to live in his hidaway, often torturing us. Most of these dreams are quite unpleasant, and I spend the whole time trying to escape and I really hate my situation and the man who kidnapped us. Fortunately, these sometimes turn into wonderful erotic dreams where he forces himself on me sexually. The dreams where we get kidnapped in groups are always nightmares. The one-on-one dreams are almost always wonderful. Go figure.
Sometimes, the good dreams can be the most frustrating at all. After encountering a place or person that I enjoyed spending time in/with a great deal, I often spend the whole day mourning them. Of course, this is often largely because our time got cut off. It is a recurring situation in my dream that I am about to have enjoyable sex when something cuts it off. This can be caused by many problems, including sudden body transformations on the part of my partner, the disappearance of my partner, an occurrence that separates us within the dream, or by my waking up. I swear my body does it on purpose.
There’s more that goes on, but if you keep up with the posts you’ll get the idea. One of the most interesting features of my dreams is the lucidity. I’ve learned to have some degree of control over my dream world. Flying is wonderful, so much that I miss it during the day. I’ll post a run-down of the next lucid dream I have here. I’ll probably just be running around looking for sex as usual, but maybe this time I’ll actually get lucky. See you then.

Stockholm Syndrome is my favorite disorder

Had a dream this morning. The story is long and crazy but the gist of it is that there was this amusement park that brainwashing people via the rides, and anyone who figured out what was going on was kidnapped and put through psychological testing in order to find the type of person they were looking for…something. Well anyway, I ended up being tested after being kidnapped by this guy in a business suit, but escaped. I immediately rushed home and told my friend what had happened. She told me that my story was ridiculous and that I had obviously been hallucinating or some such, and that there was nothing wrong with the amusement park and she inteded to prove it to me. So, stupidly, I went back with her and rode a couple rides and everything was fine. The the man that had pulled me our for testing appeared. He had a huge evil grin on his face. I cursed loudly and looked back to where my friend was sitting. When I turned around the man informed me that she’d been in on it. 

So at that point I was pretty screwed. He escorted me back to the ‘maze’ that they had the contestants in. Now, normally this maze had this animal/pig/dog/thing guarding it so that you couldn’t just loiter around in the entrance room in order to avoid the horror. But this time my ‘keeper’ shooed the animal away and took a seat in a plush chair near the entrance. What happened next was sort of confusing but it soon became clear that he was going to take advantage of the situation sexually. I told him I would do anything he wanted if I didn’t have to go back into the maze (I’m telling you, this thing was pretty horrific.) By this time I’d gone all Stockholm Syndrome and I was very excited for what he was going to do. This happens a lot in my dreams. Of course I woke up before any of it could happen. Been thinking about it all day. I got gypped out of some excellent dreamsex. FML.

First Image - A Monster

I’ll start us off with a classic. This has always been a favorite ‘Women and Monsters’ image of mine because of the contrast between the twisted, abhorrent nature of the creature and the innocent, pure, reverent women. The unmistakable look of lust on the monster’s face adds an unholiness to the scene, as does the religious imagery of the burning incense and the clothing adorning the women. Besides, look at the claws on this guy. If he touches them, he’s going to hurt them. 


My name is ----. I'm a 21-year-old American female. I collect images. At one point, I had a folder labeled 'Men' and a folder labeled 'Monsters'. I soon realized that I was frequently having the problem of being unsure in which folder an image belonged. Some of them were an obvious choice; that unaltered photo was a man, that painting of a deep-sea terror was a monster. But what about the tall figure in the plague mask? The demon with the coy smile? It was this ambiguity between the two that I loved most.

So, I like men and I like monsters. I am highly sexual by nature. Blood, death, violence, these are all sexual to me. I like knives. I like guns. I like wires and swords and fangs and claws. I like to be afraid. I like to be dominated. I like to lose control. 

As you might expect, expressing and indulging in some of these interests is quite difficult for someone attempting to function in modern society. This journal is my outlet. Here you will find my fantasies, my experiences, my discoveries and, of course, my monsters. 

The image I am currently using as an avatar is an old painting on one of my favorite artistic subjects; Eve and The Snake.The working title, 'take the hand', refers to an old daydream I used to have, where long, dark hands would reach down from the sky. Everyone would be terrified and run, except for me. I would reach out and take the hand.